The demise of a loved one

28 10 2007

To those who knew him, to those who traveled near and far with him and to those who have seen him through thick and thin. It’s now time to let him go.

As I bid farewell to my beloved SLK 2594, would appreciate your little acts of condolences. The ambassador of Wah Lai Toi will soon leave us for good.

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Make no mistakes my fellow comrades, the demise of SLK was not of my doing. Instead, it was the irresponsible action of a 19 year old who had no sense of direction in the state of Melaka that caused SLK to be classified as ‘total loss’. (Yes, it does not seem bad enough to be classified as ‘total loss’ but I’m praying it will be 😛 ) This 19 year old who was hungry as a ghost at 6.30am decided to go hunting for food in the town of Melaka. Little did this 19 year old realized that the road this 19 year old was on, was in fact a one-way street and this 19 year old was heading in the wrong direction! And coming right up to SLK was a STORM! SLK vs. STORM. SLK could only scream in horror as both SLK and STORM collided.

The idiotic 19 year old survived with 32 stitches on his hand. But sadly, SLK’s injuries was more severe. Whether or not SLK will be classified as a ‘total loss’, SLK will not return to me. SLK has served me for almost 4 years and I will never forget the ups and downs we have gone through together. Just like you will always remember your first love, Small Little Kelisa was my first car.

*sobs sobs* Emotions running uncontrollably. How do you bid farewell to someone so dear?
How? How? How?

*

*

*

Ahh ok cut the crap. It’s all perfect timing. It’s time for a Toyota. Vios? Altis? or Camry? LOL. JK.

Let’s be silent for 1 minute as a sign of last respect to my faithful friend.





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15 10 2007

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When your world falls apart…

22 09 2007

will you cry?

will you be angry?

will you fear?

or will you just be stoned-cold?

It scares me that I’m not scared.

——

when doubt turns to worry.

when worry turns to fear.

when fear turns to tears.

when tears turn to apathy.





At Peace

22 08 2007

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How I’ve changed…

18 08 2007

As I sit here with a growling stomach, wondering if breakfast would ever arrive, I decided to surf Friendster and reminisce the past by looking back on the past testimonials that have been written about me. Friendster used to be such a hype and it still is among the kiddies (heh) but as I survive more days, it is fast becoming something of the past (although it is still a site I visit when I’m bored). Nevertheless, for a moment just now, I felt that Friendster has indeed played a positive role in enabling friends to recognize and show their appreciation for another friend. So many of us only tend to say the good stuff about someone at his/her funeral. But isn’t that like talking to the wall? I really wonder why do we bother saying the good stuff at someone’s funeral when all it does is make the family of the deceased more depressed for having to say farewell to someone who is ‘that nice’. So in that sense, Friendster has successfully build a bridge for friends to convey true positive feelings to their friends while they are still alive. A good move as we are living in a society where we are not as vocal about our feelings as the people in our western counterparts are.

And I realized I’ve diverge too much from the Title.

Back to it. Reading those testimonials, I sense the consistency in almost all of it. If so many people observes the same thing, does that make it true? Those testimonials made me felt good about myself, just like testimonials should. And I felt like I really love being that person they wrote about. But somehow, I see that person as a third-person. They spoke about her being energetic, fun-loving, humorous, a prankster, kind, caring, not easily angered and what-nots.

These days, while I’m not usually tired even after work, I would not say that my life is full of energy. These days, while I still care about people close to my heart, I do not really take the effort to ‘kepo’ aka care about others. These days, while I still am not easily angered when I get teased, I have retaliated twice within a month. I no longer pull pranks. People says I’ve grown up. I say I’ve gone boring 😦 and I don’t find myself humorous. The only constant would be that I still love playing more than working. Maybe work has changed me. I don’t know – quick sidetrack: I always say ‘I don’t know’ when I’m confused. I realized I’ve not said ‘I don’t know’ in a loooong time. That’s a Yippie 😀 but the fact that I said ‘I don’t know’ now means I’m kinda lost. Sigh.

As I continue living, I began to understand myself deeper. Yet, I realized that I am but an unstable matter. While there are two sides to a coin, I discovered that I am the same. At times I can appear so excited, so energetic, so talkative, so motivating. But flip the coin and you will find me being so quiet, so serious, so apathy, so unresponsive. For the record, I do not have a moody persona, at least no one ever told me I am emo 🙂 , but these days, I find myself being kinda serious and less sociable within the proximity of work space. Sigh.

Out of office is my favourite time of any day. The freedom to be me. The freedom to jump hop skip and play like a monkey without a care about what professionalism crap image is all about. Some people love the professional office lady look and I was like that till recently. I used to be the person who would be agitated if I do not like what I think is cool (i.e pro image). But now, I have no qualms accepting and saying that I’m not that kinda person. After all, while the packaging of an ice cream is what sells, at the end of the day, you still have to find the flavour within that really suits you 🙂 . I believe you can never go wrong by being true to yourself.

Friends I’ve acquired from my childhood right up to my uni days who have seen me in my craziest acts and do not judge me are the very people I love being around. No monkey business, no games, just plain sincere friendships.

Apart from that,

Everything is just an act.

P/S: Make no mistake, I’m not unhappy at work. I just feel that it is sometimes a tad too serious for me. And it could eat me alive if I’m not careful.

Cheers! It’s time to break fast 😉





20.07.2007

20 07 2007

It’s already the 20th day of the 7th month in the year two-thousand-seven.

As quick as a lightning bolt, we bade farewell to slightly more than half a year.

Now, as I take a moment to update my lifelog, I realize that time really sneaked by me and not once had I paused to reflect and ponder on how the year has been thus far.

I did not make any new year’s resolution this year as like most people, I’m not very good at making it come true. Therefore, as unambitious and unfocused as it’s gonna sound, I shall just say that I started the year without any goals or aim.

Nevertheless, along the way things do happen and obliviously, my goals for the year were formed. As I reflect on what I have achieved thus far, I gather that there is really nothing much yet and all the more I realize how short of a time I have. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Yet, I do not feel the urgency as of now. Thus making this point, pointless.

Anyway, am gonna highlight 10 of the events that impacted me one way or another. And I want to remember them (as insignificant as some may seem) when I look back in future. It took me quite awhile to recall as I am a Dory 😛 :

1. I bought web hostings for 6 websites. Out of which I do not yet know what to do with 4 😀 Any ideas?
2. I abseiled, played archery and camped for the first time in a freezing cold jungle – Genting.
3. I had a blast organizing the UOB MA Forum 2007 with my batch of MAs.
4. I was determined to make a difference in this world (heh) and volunteered for a charity event without my friends. Something I’ve never done. But am glad that 2 of my friends decided to join me later 🙂
5. I had my hair cut to slightly above shoulder length. Something I last did 2 years ago.
6. I adopted my 3rd dog who was mistakenly named Princess. (Hantu sial!)

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7. I managed to catch the Mix FM Mega Shopaholic.
8. I tried Carl’s Jr. and Ben and Jerry’s for the first time in Singapore 😛 (too yummy not to highlight)
9. I felt first hand what it is like to be broke and in debt because of impulse shopping. LOL. I will make sure it never happens again 😀
10. Lotsa incidents took placed that made me realized how much stronger I’ve grown emotionally. And am beginning to grow spiritually too 🙂

And the highlights I hope to see before the end of 2007:

1. Enlightening trip to Hong Kong, Macau and KK.
2. Satisfaction from having participate in the biggest 30-hr famine event ever organized.
3. A completion and a breakthrough in my ‘project’.
4. A rewarding increment upon confirmation 😀
5. A positive change in the condition of a close-relative.
6. Debt-free 🙂

Biggest lessons learned so far:
1. There is no price-tag to friendship.
2. Be grateful even in the littlest thing.

All things are possible with God! 🙂

Cheers!





Blogging heals my soul

8 07 2007

It’s amazing how blogging actually relieves me of the sorrow negative emotions I have inside. I love how optimistic and joyful I end up becoming after blogging over an unfortunate incident.

I apologize for not being open enough to ‘publish-to-all’ some of the more private posts which are restricted to my closest friends and to the few that requested. I was never much an open book but have grown tremendously in these past few years. Nevertheless, I still have a long way to go so please bear with me 🙂 .

Keep on bloggin’ ya’ll!!

-xoxo-